JANEWAY: Captain's Log, stardate 12345.6. We are still flying through space looking for a way back to the Alpha Quadrant. We are now back on course, although we did lose a good bit of time on our last 80-light-year detour to investigate that interesting subspace anomaly... which, unfortunately, turned out to be a smudge on our sensor array. Still, I feel the trip was worthwhile, and that it will contribute a great deal to Federation science if we ever get home to tell them about it.
PARIS: Captain! I'm picking up a subspace anomaly, dead ahead!
JANEWAY: It's probably just another sensor smudge. But put it on screen.
[Stock footage wormhole FX from Deep Space 9 appear on screen]
PARIS: It's a wormhole, Captain!
KIM: Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody!
PARIS [pushing buttons]: And it leads to... [dramatic pause] ...the Alpha Quadrant!
KIM: Yee-ha!
TUVOK: Control yourself, ensign. [Under his breath]: Yessss!
JANEWAY: Set a course for that wormhole, Mr. Pa...
KIM [cutting her off]: Ma'am, I'm getting an incoming transmission.
JANEWAY: Put it on screen.
[Ugly alien with head bumps appears on screen.]
ALIEN: We couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be interested in our wormhole.
JANEWAY: That's right. We're from the Alpha Quadrant, and we're looking for a way to get home.
ALIEN: Well, you've found it! But there's a fee for use.
JANEWAY: What kind of fee?
ALIEN: Well, we've heard of the legendary Earth beverage called "coffee"...
JANEWAY: Share our precious supplies of coffee? Never!
ALIEN: Well, in that case, maybe...
JANEWAY: Sorry. No deal!
[Alien disappears from screen.]
CHAKOTAY: Captain, maybe you should reconsider...
JANEWAY: No way! I have my moral principles, Mr. Chakotay. And sharing my coffee with these people would be a gross violation of everything this ship and the Federation stands for!
[Tuvok rolls his eyes.]
[Meanwhile, Seven-of-Nine has been standing in the background fiddling with something on a computer console. Cut to exterior shot, as Voyager's photon torpedoes launch and hit the alien's space station, which explodes.]
JANEWAY: Seven! Did you do that?
SEVEN: Yes, Ma'am.
JANEWAY: How many times do I have to tell you not to blow people up without my orders?
SEVEN: They were annoying, Ma'am. I have gotten rid of them. You may now proceed through the wormhole without forfeiting any coffee.
JANEWAY: [Sighs deeply] I'm afraid it just doesn't work that way, Seven. Set a course away from the wormhole, Mr. Paris.
PARIS: But, Captain!?
JANEWAY: I said do it, Mr. Paris! Using these people's wormhole without paying them the proper toll would just be wrong. We're Starfleet officers. We have standards to uphold.
CHAKOTAY: But, Captain, are you sure...
JANEWAY: I'm sure.
KIM [whining]: Aw, but Captain, please...
JANEWAY: No.
PARIS [also whining]: Aw, but Captain...
JANEWAY: I said no! Trust me, one day you'll all thank me for this.
[Groans from everyone on the bridge crew, including Tuvok.]
JANEWAY: Oh, and Seven. Your replicator privileges are revoked for one week.
SEVEN: Very well.
CHAKOTAY [whispering to Janeway]: You're making her eat Neelix's cooking for a week? Isn't that kind of harsh?
JANEWAY: Maybe. But I must have discipline on my ship.
CHAKOTAY: [sighs, leans back] Yes, Captain.
JANEWAY: Captain's log, Stardate 12345.7. We are still on course for the Alpha Quadrant. At this rate, we may, if we're lucky, get back within Tuvok's lifetime. Still no luck in finding a shorter way home. We remain hopeful, however. There's got to be one out there somewhere.
[Cue end credits.]